Poopetry

The Raven

Once within my restroom dreary, while I shuddered, weak and weary,
Outwith many a strained and villainous load of misbegotten poo,
While I bore down, slowly crapping, suddenly their came a tapping,
As of someone’s urgent rapping, hoping to employ my loo.
“Wait your bloody turn,” I shouted, “whatcha think I’m in here for —
Just my health, and nothing more?”

…

And the raven, never flitting, still is shitting, still is shitting
On the half-read stack of Maxims on the table by the door;
And his offal has the odor of some demon-dark beholder,
His cloacal soldiers marching, streaming birdshit to the floor;
And the stains from out that puddle that is seeping ‘cross the floor
Shall be lifted — nevermore!

— Edgar Allen Poo

“Poop” Is The Thing With Kernels

“Poop” is the thing with kernels—
That perches at the hole—
And farts the tune without the words—
And never plops—at all—

And sweetest—in the Stall—is heard—
And sore must be the bum—
That could unleash the little Turd
That kept so many warm—

— Emily Squickinson

I Crave Your Poop, Your Poop, Your Poop

Don’t relieve me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of poop will all run together,
the gas that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my poor nose.

— Pooblo Neruda

I Sing the Butt Diarrhetic

I sing the butt diarrhetic;
The feces of that I ate embroil me, and I enshrine them;
They will not let me off till I go for them, erupt for them,
and displace them, and discharge them full with the discharge of the hole.

…

Within there runs poop,
The same old poop!
The same loose-running poop!
There swells and jets a fart—

— Walt Shitman

The Spread Browncornhole

so much descends
from

a spread brown
cornhole

splashed with bowl
water

beside the white
TP

— William Cornhole Williams

The Second Bumming

Whirling and whirling in the watery swirl
The feces cannot hear the defecator;
Things fall apart; the spincter cannot hold;
Mere assery is loosed upon the bowl.

— William Buttler Yeats

Haipu

The old toilet
A log drops in
The sound of bobbing

— Matsuo Furasshu

The Dump Not Taken

Three bowls diverged in a public loo
And sorry I could not sit on all
And be one pooper, long I held it
And looked down one as far as I could
To where its u-bend met the wall.

— Robert Flush’d

Viva Sweet Butt

pooping is your
time is my time is our
time for pooping is butttime
and viva sweet butt

— e.e. bummings

This Is Just To Say

I have eaten
the poops
that were in
the toilet

and which
you were probably
saving
for flushing

Forgive me
they were delicious
so brown
and so firm

— William “Dirty Sanchez” Williams